8/29/2017 0 Comments The coming homeI'm far too lazy with all this!! I see that i've had 18 visitors in a week and they've had no content to go off.. not that the material is that good anyways. So i went to the hospital about my skin! They offered me UV treatment, something I have wanted for two or three years now. Coincidentally, I couldn't accept it. It broke my heart to say no but there are outliers that made it easier to go without. Maybe some other day when I'm older. The sun does make some difference. I'm currently in Spain on a short trip away and each plaque is less red but is the tone of my normal, pale skin colour. Consequently, this tone against my gradually browning skin makes 'reverse leopard spots', at least they show progress!! As the skin reproduces every 3-5 days rather every 28, I was in the cycle of reproducing therefore the scales did grow back rather quickly following my leopard spots. Perhaps instead I am stressed? It's all a blur really. We've had 5 weeks off now and as school draws nearer, tension grows ever so tighter in my mind. I'm
lucky enough to have people fall back on and currently, beautiful Spanish men to gaze on ahahaha no no i'm still occupied, never mind that. I just feel isolated sometimes when I'm so far away from home.. I'm definitely a cosy person who is used to the warmth of her own bed but I want to explore further at the same time! I suppose we'll have to see.. I'll work harder to post more. Speak soon, R x
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8/9/2017 0 Comments The summer oneIn all seriousness, this isn't a real blog. I make poor attempts to tell you things and there is never any consistency or professionalism about it but I shall keep writing whenever I feel or get the chance. It's been an interesting holiday. I went to Croatia with my family - an enjoyable but also slightly mellow trip.. arrived home to an empty house as Mum currently is in Uganda (well she's heading home this second), helping African charities with their finances. The house feels to have fallen apart without her around. It's only been two days but I feel completely 'out of it'. I have fallen more & more into a deep happy blur with a certain someone and every time I see them, things get a little bit better. I feel as if I am silly to be so happy with one person, it's ridiculous and I hate bragging but i'm very happy indeed. Yesterday, the 8th of August, was a strange day. I had dyed my hair (bad idea) some 'fun' colours the day before. I need to strip it. Me and an old friend did so however my hair just went blue!! We then continued to dye it brown so it is now a brown/blue/green shade as opposed to my usual bleach blonde. The rest of the day was normal until an incidence occurred. I thought that I was followed. In the end it was all a big misunderstanding that I feel silly about admitting. On the other hand, I had several reasons that prompted me to believe this was the case even if it was a misconception. My skin is.. well it cleared up partially in the sun however it is still rather bumpy and apparent almost everywhere at the same time. I'm going to the hospital next week. We shall see. I shall try mr best to talk soon.
R x 7/8/2017 0 Comments The skin thingOh hey it's me!! That girl who is completely horrendous at writing a blog.. Things are fairly good!! Minus 'the skin thing'.. I was getting along fine until the week after mock exams? It makes no sense! As soon as the important things are over, my skin goes off on a tangent and it just happens too quickly to take in, it's been a lil' overwhelming but I've still got rays of sunshine that turn it all around and I feel way better! It's sunny today so I'm hoping to clear some of it away just by sitting in the garden. I seem to gain confidence from sharing my skin: I think the more people know about it, the less intimidating so I decided to post my bare back on social media, displaying where it had worsened rather quickly. I use the hashtag 'psoriasiswarrior' which is something that many people in the community use to show courage or determination. I may be determined but I'm far from courageous but I used it in a way to move into the community. I'm not asking for sympathy, simply for awareness. I want to make a difference I've decided. I want to be someone who makes a positive influence, no matter how small, somewhere! Right now I just feel like I get on with things, wait for summer to arrive and nothing good comes from it. Imagine being influential! It must feel incredible. I should get brainstorming. I have little else to say other than that I hope to begin writing more in this soon and maybe even influencing someone?? How mad!! To those of you who visit and read, thank you!! Talk soon, R x
6/7/2017 0 Comments The feeling good ishCurrently as I stand on Leagrave's Train Station Platform, waiting for my train, there are several thoughts running through my head. The train has just pulled in. It looks busy. I've just sat on a table with a lady wearing pretty sandals. She had made the effort to paint her toenails a shade of pink which compliments her outfit. She is probably on her way to work. I'm concerned that I look antisocial as I'm on my phone however I am typing this. Although the case is opposite of what they think, I cannot shout 'I'm writing my blog, I'm not being a typical teenager' as I'd like to do. I could if I wanted to but no one would care. No one is actually that concerned with what I'm doing. You think that everyone is assessing you. At least I do. When I walked to the train station, several people looked me up and down and didn't return my smile. I assumed they were mentally assessing what I was wearing or looking at my skin as I have no make up on today. Most likely they were just glimpsing, not actually concerning themselves with any of the minor details that I think proper. My skin is worsening yet I remain happy?? I have someone at home to look forward to, my work experience is fun and I seem to have things I'm concerned with under control. Yet I still feel this way. The train just pulled into Luton. As it left the station, it was slow at the beginning and a man next to it was walking at the same speed as the train for around 5 seconds. I am unaware of why I find that so amusing. It has delighted me to see that 41 people have visited my blog this week as opposed to the 2-5 who usually do. Who knows why that has happened. I'm aware this is not chirpy like usual but this was running through my head. I'm ready to get out of my comfort zone and stop holding myself back from things I might be or am capable of. This is me. Talk soon.
R x 5/29/2017 0 Comments The Feel goodWell Mi Amigos (I don't take Spanish so I apologise for if that was incorrect), someone (it's me by the way) is on top of the world. I'm actually in my room and when I think about it, there are a few downers but I'm weighing them against the major streak of positive things happening at the minute. I hope y'all are doing fine and are having a fab bank holiday weekend. Ya girl could have some form of love life (can you believe it??? me neither), my skin is clear, I can make some attempt at revision and they're the main bits I guess. Summer is on it's way which is always my main inspo if I wanna drive myself ahead. Instead I just look at summer on pinterest though and absorb myself in clothes and jewellery and all things that money can buy. If only it was that simple. I've discovered that although I dislike my figure, if I hated it THAT much, I probably would make a bigger effort to change it but I go through phases. Of course everyone has their insecurities but someone else finds them attractive and loveable, even if you fail to see that. My favourite quote is 'A stopped clock is still right twice a day' and I think that can refer to people when they don't feel as confident about lil things of theirs, sometimes in some way, they can see their beauty! I wanna start being more bloggy, I'm scared i'm uninteresting though?? Talk soon, R x
5/16/2017 0 Comments The happy daysGod, it feels good to have something to look forward to.. or someone. No spoilers but exciting things are happening and I can't help but feel all bubbly inside, despite the unnessacary stress pacing through me as some measly mocks draw nearer. Would really love to find a drama school or musical theatre class to take part in however I'm struggling to find the right place at the moment. Was lucky enough to have a beautiful basket bike bought for me and therefore, I've been indulging in that. I organised myself with tonnes of stationary and I'm quite content in 'mind and spirit'. Ensuring I eat my 5 a day (which I'm coping with, thank you for your concern) I have a good mindset for the day as I feel I have achieved something for the day! Funny.. I usually have more to say when something negative has happened so I'm a bit at a loss for words. Talk soon. R x
4/24/2017 0 Comments The back to schoolWell hello! Sorry I've left (whoever reads this) in the dark for a bit. It's been the holidays, so I've been maxing, relaxing all cool and all shooting some B'ball outside of da school. Anyways, my skin is having a hell on because I've been thinking about a certain someone far too much so my eyes have puffed up but things could be moving positively. Yes, ya girl may be progressing into romantic horizons (my horoscope told me that). I refuse to get my hopes up though because we all know what happened last time HA HA HA anyways. I've ventured to beautiful Paris with Ma Famille and cut my hair into what I call 'a four year old bob'. It's all part of a new start which will most likely last two days! I was supposed to be arranging myself this evening however I'm sitting in my dressing gown, listening to my 800 song musical playlist and procrastinating to the max. I, however, am remaining positive despite my lack of motivation because I'm surrounded by lovely people and have exciting things ahead. I begin a 10 week drama workshop on Wednesday which although I'm terrified for, I'm excited to throw myself into the deep end for once, especially when I'm doing something I love. School is scaring me a bit, especially with Mocks (which we've never ever done) looming round the corner but we're all in the same boat and I suppose I need to get my head down! Many people have it way, way, way, way worse so I shouldn't complain. Looking at the happy things. Thank you for reading, whoever?? I don't mind who listens to my blabbing, as long it's not reserved inside of me!!
Talk soon, R x 3/28/2017 0 Comments Kind SoulsHello you out there!
Amazingly, someone has read my blog and prompted me to continue! I hadn't given up but I needed something to spark my creative lisence. Thanks to a kind soul I know, I am back (even if it is only them and my Mother who listens to my talking)!! There are some truly kind people in the world who do not receive the credit they deserve and the kind soul is certainly one of them. Anyways, I have found work experience! At long last, I'm going to work in a Theatre in June which I'm v excited about and so that strain no longer pulls at me. I have just finished performing in a school production of High School Musical in which I played a 'bad auditionee' named 'Cathy' and on the final night played 'Ripper' who sings about Cello's in Status Quo as the girl playing her was ill. Now, Panto is over and HSM is equally concluded so I need to find somewhere to entertain my interests, especially if I should seek a career in this area. If anyone can help, please don't be afraid to suggest as I would really appreciate it. My skin is soaring at the minute which I'm very pleased about however it's developing in new places. On the bright side, my supply teacher has psoriasis too on his arms when mine has begun to grow so there's even comfort in school! As I have no performing arts to partake in, I'm growing extremely idle as I seem to have no motivation otherwise. I just love being warm and cosy, it's my favourite thing! I've just come back from a week of an unknown illness so perhaps I'm just recovering. I don't think I have much else to say but thank you Kind Soul! Keep updated if you fancy. R x 2/23/2017 0 Comments The holidaysWellll.. it's half term! My panto slump has definitely gone but I seriously need something else to do. I'm trying to find work experience but nowhere seems to reply! My skin has flared up again wildly on my forehead so unfortunately had to go to the Doctors which I super hate. They're going to try and refer me to a dermatologist, one step closer! I've been attempting to sort myself out recently, I entirely revamped my room and the extension outside of it because I love change! I really want some more piercings and to dye my hair again but I'll have to stick with what I've got for now. I've recovered from an innapropriate crush that I had (hopefully) and got pied off by someone when I admitted how I felt (bad decision but life goes on). Anyways, I got all my homework done on the 2nd day of the holidays, I've now seen one of my favourite musicals live and I'm feeling bloody great about myself. There's always going to be things I don't like but I'm embracing the positives. I attempted to dye my hair pink but it sort of just didn't work, there was a slight tinge to it but nothing notable!! Otherwise, I've alphabetically ordered my DVDs, did some charity shopping, got some face masks and organising things and I feel on top of the world!
Thank you for listening to my relentless droning. Talk soon, R x 2/9/2017 0 Comments Slump be gone!Thankfully the slump is gone! (ish) however I can't fully shake it off and there's a meeting next week so it'll all come back again. Anyways, I'm looking for experience, adventure and something to say I've done. I want to travel, to laugh, to cry and to love. I'm bloody 15 and I feel like I've done nothing with my little life. I wanna meet an elephant, I wanna learn a new skill and I wanna be able to get on without worrying about what other people think. But the world's not perfect, nothing is and that's something I suppose we have to remember as well as those people who don't have the opportunity to do what they wish. In some good news, despite my cheat day today, I've been attempting to improve my lifestyle. I've not eaten meat (fish though) for 3 months now which is vastly improving my skin and I'm actually exercising (out of choice!!). It's rewarding and I had no idea but I'm so impatient when I don't see results so I'll probably end up giving in (at least my pso is fading). In fairness, this week is BORING. Nothing is going on, other than me trying to pull myself together and seek some experience somewhere. When I apply to Uni, I feel all I will have is Panto, maybe netball and possibly piano. I wanna write and travel and volunteer and not care about meeting new people, nerves or opinions. I wanna be a free spirit. I also sort of want to change my hair colour again (It's currently bleached blonde and I'm a natural brunette) and get a new piercing but I'm not sure which one to her. Well I think that's all from me. Stay tuned..
R x |
PsoHappi is derived from 'Pso'riasis and 'Happi'ness. Psoriasis is an incurable auto-immune disease where skin cells grow more frequently than usual and leave dry, flaky and irritating skin in patches all over your body. In essence, this is my story of living with it (with some other stuff along the way). My blog is subtitled 'The Broken Clock' due to my favourite quote being 'A broken clock is right twice a day'. R x
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